Middles

Those of you following these posts live will have noticed that there is a gap in posting, which is in the process of being filled. (If you’re here on an archive crawl from the future, then please pretend that I was supremely organised and had everything queued up weeks in advance.) This “slump” is the curse of the middle: my constant companion in all projects, great and small.

Case in point: Act Two of The Avlem Burden is doing my head in. 

I know where the story is going. I know what the characters are doing. I know why, and how, and all the things, because I’ve procrastinated on the writing by overthinking every detail of this story. The only thing left to do is write the draft, and that’s exactly what I’m not doing. 

Why do you think I impulsively jumped into the A-Z challenge this year? To avoid working on TAB, of course!

And now this challenge is also a project, and has reached the middle, and is, of course, becoming a chore. I thought I might trick myself into writing TAB in order to avoid blogging, but that didn’t work. It’s hard to outsmart your own brain, especially on purpose.

I have two options now, as I see it. Well, three if you count “giving up” but I’m not going to so that’s out and we’re back to two. 

1. I could summon up all of my (meagre) willpower and make myself sit down and write.
2. I could step back and remind myself why I want to write, and where I’m going with all these words. 

Willpower on its own simply doesn’t work for me. I know it works for some people, and I watch in amazement as they show up day after day no matter their mood out of sheer determination. 

I am not filled with determination. I am filled with procrastination. 

But option two doesn’t work on its own, either. I can think about how much the Fragments cycle means to me, and why the A-Z challenge is so much fun — think and think and think! It ramps up my desire to finish, but does nothing to move me forward. 

Engaging the gears is useless without also pressing the accelerator.

Pressing the accelerator is useless without also engaging the gears. 

I need both drive and determination if I’m going to get through this murky middle and catch up with my goals on the other side. Drive, determination, and a little help from my friends. 

Thank you to everyone who’s commented so far. I will be returning the favour ASAP. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here, catching up on my work and trying to avoid stalling. 

 Again.