I try to be light on the personal details in this blog, but it's not giving away any secrets to reveal that I've recently moved (back) to Wales. Despite having family there, and thinking of it as "home away from home" for most of my life, I've never managed to get to grips with the Welsh language. Well, now I'm trying again.
Being a language learner who is first-language English is a mixed blessing in this information age. Resources are plentiful, and it's easy to find other learners, but the sheer ubiquity of English means that most Welsh speakers can speak and understand English. And so, when I begin to struggle, they switch to my language out of a desire to be polite and/or speed the conversation along a bit.
This makes me self-conscious about making mistakes, hesitating, or even looking confused. And because I'm self-conscious, I make more mistakes, hesitate more, and spend most interactions looking (and feeling) confused; not to mention more than a little stupid.
But why? I don't think that other people are stupid, slow, or annoying if they don't speak perfect English. And I'm confident enough in BSL (British Sign Language) even though I know that I still make mistakes. There are probably lots of reasons, but I think that part of it could be about immersion.
When someone struggles with English, and I can't speak their first language, we have no choice but to keep going. With BSL, switching to English takes more effort than sticking to sign. But with Welsh, it's quicker and easier to use English when the I can't think of a word.
Having the "easy out" of using English, I don't try to rephrase my sentences or get creative with descriptors – I just say the word in English. And once the conversation is in English, that tends to be where it stays. 😕
Lesson Eight
It's OK to make mistakes. Say something instead of awkward silence. And remember how to say, "Please speak Welsh to me, I want to learn."